Philosophy, I need it! - Chapter I

Dedicated to the many blokes whose egos have received a juicy blow upon hearing a 'NO' (often without an explanation) from me! :-)

My thoughts, in my own words : - 

A person who hasn't mastered the art of saying 'NO' will neither find enough time for himself nor for the many important things he wishes to accomplish in his life.

A person who has the gumption to say 'No' has to often encounter an interesting retort from the person who has asked for his time - "sab log aa rahe hai, sirf tu hi nahin aa raha. Bada aadmi ho gaya hai tu." This statement is nothing but a psychological device that incorporates aspects of guilt-tripping and social-proof. Faugh! But the silliest and cheapest aspect is the reference to India's feudal structure - The Bada Aadmi factor! 

How the dickens do you mean 'Bada Aadmi'? Doesn't a 'Chhota Aadmi' have the right to say 'No'???

These scumbags have, perhaps, no inkling that India has a Constitution, which guarantees the right to freedom (a fundamental right) to everybody irrespective of his social position, sex, caste, religion, etc. The freedom to say 'No' is very much a part of this fundamental right (barring some legal exceptions, of course!). By questioning or denying this right, these insolent people are insulting the Constitution of India!!! Why would any sane person hobnob with these horse's patoots?

Another line that is often employed, and not without considerable hauteur, is "Why don't you come? waise bhi kya kaam hai tereko?" I must concede that I am a gentleman-of-leisure and have absolutely no work on any day of the week. But even an orangutan knows that there are many better ways of wasting one's time than being in the society of f(r)iends whose brains have been sculpted by the man who, upon realising that both his hands were paralysed, decided to use his feet for the brain-job. 

Remember, your time is your most valuable possession ....never ever gift it to an asshole who has no respect for other people's time, choices and decisions in life.

I'll end my note by quoting my guru, Howard Roark - “I came here to say that I do not recognise anyone’s right to one minute of my life."

------

Related story: Here's an interesting anecdote (starring Bruce Lee) narrated by Joe Hyams in his wonderful book, Zen in the Martial Arts, on the importance of spending one's time wisely :-

Many of my jeet-kune-do lessons with Bruce Lee were shared with Stirling Silliphant, one of the most successful screenwriters in America. Often, after lessons, the three of us would retire to my backyard and, over a glass of fruit juice, sit and talk. These few moments were precious to me because, invariably, I gained an insight into one or both of my friends. 

On one such occasion, we talked about the difference between wasting time and spending time. Bruce was the first to speak. 

“To spend time is to pass it in a specified manner,” he said. “We are spending it during lessons just as we are spending it now in conversation. To waste time is to expend it thoughtlessly or carelessly. We all have time to either spend or waste and it is our decision what to do with it. But once passed, it is gone forever.” 

“It’s the most precious commodity we have,” agreed Sterling. “I always view my time as divided into infinite moments or transactions or contacts. Anyone who steals my time is stealing my life because they are taking my existence from me. As I get older, I realise that time is the only thing I have left. So when someone comes to me with a project, I estimate the time it will take me to do it and then I ask myself, ‘Do I want to spend weeks or months of what little time I have on this project? Is it worth it or am I just wasting my time?’ If I consider the project time-worthy I do it. 

“I apply the same yardstick to social relations. I will not permit people to steal my time. I have limited my friends to those people with whom time passes happily. There are moments in my life — necessary moments — when I don’t do anything but that is my choice. The choice of how I spend my time is mine, and it is not dictated by social convention.” 

After Stirling finished talking, Bruce looked out into space for a few moments. When he finally spoke, it was to ask if he could make a telephone call. 

When he came back, Bruce was smiling. “I just cancelled an appointment,” he said. “It was with someone who wanted to waste my time and not help me spend it.” 

As he left us, Bruce turned to Stirling and said, “Today you were the teacher. I realised for the first time how much time I had been wasting with certain people. I never before considered that they were taking my existence from me, but they were.”